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ARAMINTA 

AND THE AUTOMOBILE 





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Thornton, gesticulating wildly, disappeared round the corner 




Copyright^ 1903^ 

By Henky Holt & Co. 


Copyright, 1907, 

By Thomas Y. Ckowell & Co. 


The stories in this volume were copyrighted separately, as follows : 

“ Araminta and the Automobile,” 

Copyright, 1905, 

[By The Saturday Evening Post, Philadelphia 


” The Deception of Martha Tucker,” 
Copyright, 1901, 

By The Century Co. 

“ While the Automobile Ran Dow'n,” 
Copyright, 1900, 

By The Century Co. 



« 6 • 


j*UUi?ARY of CONGRESS! 


JUN 14 I90r 

1 


( Iwo coDtes Received 



THE UNIVERSITY PRESS, CAMBRIDGE, U.S. A. 


Mr. Reviewer and My Dear Readers, 

I have been asked to say a few 
words to you before you get busy with 
my little book that is filled with 
“ Cheerful Americans ” going out for 
automobile rides. 

A generation or two ago, there was 
a poor writer (I mean poor in this 
world’s goods, of course) and he saw 
people riding about in automobiles as 
if they owned them, and it made him 
wish he could ride about in one as 
if he owned it. But he lacked the 
nerve, so he had to be content with 
trolleys. 

After a while he made believe that 
he had bought an automobile, and he 
rode around in it with “Araminta,” 
and enjoyed the motion so much that 


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TO THE READER 

he set others to riding in automohiles 
that he made himself in his study, and 
he was much pleased at the way they 
“ went.” 

After a while he made a collection 
of these stories and they went some 
more, and now they are off for a cross 
country trip that will undoubtedly 
result in the critics saying of the writer, 
‘ ‘ He has the pen of a Charles Dick- 
ens ; ” or “ he reminds one of Robert 
Louis Stevenson at his best ; ” or “ he 
succeeds, as no man since Sir Walter 
Scott has succeeded, in writing auto- 
mobile stories that cause the helpless 
and fascinated reader to sit up all 
night regardless of anything save the 
flight of the machine ; ” or perhaps 
they will say ‘ ‘ the mantle of Bret Harte 
has fallen upon him, and with the 
possible exception of Nathaniel Haw- 


TO THE READER 

thorne no one has written such tales 
of the clutch and brake and sparker.’* 
Readers, need I tell you who that 
poor writer was ? The poor boy who 
in 1 865 had never even seen an auto- 
mobile stands before you, and his 
name is 


Charles Battell Loomis. 


Contents 


PAGE 

Araminta and the Automobile 9 

The Deception of Martha Tucker .... 39 

While the Automobile Ran Down .... 69 


Illustrations 


PAGE 

Thornton, gesticulating wildly, disappeared y 
around the corner Frontispiece 

“ Young man, experience teaches more in half 

an hour than hooks or precepts do in a year ” ^ 

She approached the horse’s head to pet him . 44 ^ 

He dropped upon his hed, feeling white about 
the gills 68 ■ 


ARAMINTA 

AND THE AUTOMOBILE 



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ARAMINTA 

AND THE AUTOMOBILE 


bOME persons spend their surplus 
on works of art ; some spend it on 
Italian gardens and pergolas ; there 
are those who sink it in golf, and I 
have heard of those who expended 
it on charity. 

None of these forms of getting 
away with money appealed to Ara- 
minta and myself. As soon as it 
was ascertained that the automobile 
was practicable and would not cost 
a king's ransom, I determined to 
devote my savings to the purchase 
of one. 

Araminta and I live in a sub- 
urban town ; she because she loves 
Nature, and I because I love Ara- 


ARAMINTA AND THE AUTOMOBILE 

minta. We have been married for 
five years. 

I am a bank clerk in New York, 
and morning and night I go through 
the monotony of railway travel, and 
for one who is forbidden to use his 
eyes on the train and who does not 
play cards it is monotony, for in 
the morning my friends are either 
playing cards or else reading their 
papers, and one does not like to 
urge the claims of conversation on 
one who is deep in politics or the 
next play of his antagonist ; so my 
getting to business and coming back 
are in the nature of purgatory. I 
therefore hailed the automobile as a 
Heaven-sent means of swift motion 
with an agreeable companion, and 
with no danger of encountering 
either newspapers or cards. I have 


ARAMINTA AND THE AUTOMOBILE 


seen neither reading nor card- 
playing going on in any auto- 
mobile. 

The community in which I live 
is not progressive, and when I said 
that I expected to buy an automobile 
as soon as my ship came in I was 
frowned upon by my neighbors. 
Several of them have horses, and 
all, or nearly all, have feet. The 
horsemen were not more opposed 
to my proposed ownership than the 
footmen — I should say pedestrians. 
They all thought automobiles dan- 
gerous and a menace to public 
peace, but of course I pooh-poohed 
their fears and, being a person of a 
good deal of stability of purpose, I 
went on saving my money, and in 
course of time I bought an automo- 
bile of the electric sort. 

[i3] 


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ARAMINTA AND THE AUTOMOBILE 

Araminta is plucky, and I am 
perfectly fearless. When the auto- 
mobile was brought home and 
housed in the little barn that is on 
our property, the man who had 
backed it in told me that he had 
orders to stay and show me how it 
worked, but I laughed at him — 
good-naturedly yet firmly. I said, 
“Young man, experience teaches 
more in half an hour than books or 
precepts do in a year. A would-be 
newspaper man does not go to a 
school of journalism if he is wise ; 
he gets a position on a newspaper 
and learns for himself, and through 
his mistakes. I know that one of 
these levers is to steer by, that an- 
other lets loose the power, and 
that there is a foot-brake. I also 
know that the machine is charged, 



Young man, experience leaclies more in ]jalf an liour than 
hooks or precepts do in a jear ” 


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ARAMINTA AND THE AUTOMOBILE 

and I need to know no more. 
Good-day.” 

Thus did I speak to the young 
man, and he saw that I was a 
person of force and discretion, and 
he withdrew to the train and I 
never saw him again. 

Araminta had been to Passaic 
shopping, but she came back while 
I was out in the barn looking at 
my new purchase, and she joined 
me there. I looked at her lov- 
ingly, and she returned the look. 
Our joint ambition was realized; 
we were the owners of an auto- 
mobile, and we were going out that 
afternoon. 

Why is it that cheap barns are 
so flimsily built ? I know that our 
barn is cheap because the rent for 
house and barn is less than what 
[i5] 


ARAMINTA AND THE AUTOMOBILE 


many a clerk, city pent, pays for 
a cramped flat ; but again I ask, 
why are they flimsily built ? I have 
no complaint to make. If my barn 
had been built of good stout oak I 
might to-day be in a hospital. 

It happened this way. Araminta 
said, “ Let me get in, and we will 
take just a little ride to see how it 
goes,” and I out of my love for 
her said, “Wait just a few min- 
utes, dearest, until I get the hang 
of the thing. I want to see how 
much go she has and just how she 
works.” 

Araminta has learned to obey 
my slightest word, knowing that 
love is at the bottom of all my 
commands, and she stepped to one 
side while I entered the gayly painted 
vehicle and tried to move out of 
[i6] 


ARAMINTA AND THE AUTOMOBILE 

the barn. I moved out. But I 
backed. Oh, blessed, cheaply built 
barn. My way was not restricted 
to any appreciable extent. I shot 
gayly through the barn into the hen 
yard, and the sound of the ripping 
clapboards frightened the silly hens 
who were enjoying a dust-bath, and 
they fled in more directions than 
there were fowls. 

I had not intended entering the 
hen yard, and I did not wish to 
stay there, so I kept on out, the 
wire netting not being what an au- 
tomobile would call an obstruction. 
I never lose my head, and when I 
heard Araminta screaming in the 
barn, I called out cheerily to her, 
*‘I’ll be back in a minute, dear, 
but I ’m coming another way.’’ 

And I did come another way. I 

» [17] 


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ARAMINTA AND THE AUTOMOBILE 

came all sorts of ways. I really 
don’t know what got into the ma- 
chine, but she now turned to the 
left and made for the road, and then 
she ran along on her two left 
wheels for a moment, and then 
seemed about to turn a somersault, 
but changed her mind, and, still 
veering to the left, kept on up the 
road, passing my house at a furious 
speed, and making for the open 
country. With as much calmness 
as I could summon 1 steered her, 
but I think I steered her a little too 
much, for she turned toward my 
house. 

I reached one end of the front 
piazza at the same time that Ara- 
minta reached the other end of it. 
I had the right of way, and she de- 
ferred to me lust in time. I re- 

[i8] 


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ARAMINTA AND THE AUTOMOBILE 

moved the vestibule storm door. It 
was late in March, and I did not 
think we should have any more 
use for it that season. And we 
didn’t. 

I had ordered a strongly built 
machine, and I was now glad of it, 
because a light and weak affair that 
was merely meant to run along on 
a level and unobstructed road would 
not have stood the assault on my 
piazza. Why, my piazza did not 
stand it. It caved in, and made 
work for an already overworked 
local carpenter who was behind- 
hand with his orders. After I had 
passed through the vestibule, I ap- 
plied the brake and it worked. The 
path is not a cinder one, as I think 
them untidy, so I was not more 
than muddied. I was up in an in- 

[19] 


ARAMINTA AND THE AUTOMOBILE 

slant, and looked at the still enthu- 
siastic machine with admiration. 

“ Have you got the hang of it? ” 
said Araminta. 

Now that’s one thing I like about 
Araminta. She does not waste 
words over non-essentials. The 
^ point was not that I had damaged 
the piazza. I needed a new one, 
anyway. The main thing was that 
I was trying to get the hang of the 
machine, and she recognized that 
fact instantly. 

I told her that I thought I had, 
and that if I had pushed the lever 
in the right way at first, I should 
have come out of the barn in a more 
conventional way. 

She again asked me to let her 
ride, and as I now felt that I 
could better cope with the curves 
[ 20 ] 


ARAMINTA AND THE AUTOMOBILE 

of the machine I allowed her to 
get in. 

‘‘Don't lose your head,” said I. 

“I hope I sha’n’t,” said she, 
dryly. 

“Well, if you have occasion to 
leave me , drop over the back . N ever 
j ump ahead . That is a fundamental 
rule in runaways of all kinds.” 

Then we started, and I ran the 
motor along for upward of half a 
mile after I had reached the high- 
way, which I did by a short cut 
through a field at the side of our 
house. There is only a slight rail 
fence surrounding it, and my ma- 
chine made little of that. It really 
seemed to delight in what some 
people would have called danger. 

“Araminta, are you glad that I 
saved up for this ? ” 


ARAMINTA AND THE AUTOMOBILE 

“I am mad with joy/’ said the 
dear thing, her face flushed with 
excitement mixed with expectancy. 
Nor were her expectations to be 
disappointed. We still had a good 
deal to do before we should have 
ended our first ride. 

So far I had damaged property 
to a certain extent, but I had no 
one but myself to reckon with, and 
I was providing work for people. 
I always have claimed that he who 
makes work for two men where 
there was only work for one be- 
fore, is a public benefactor, and that 
day I was the friend of carpenters 
and other mechanics. 

Along the highway we flew, our 
hearts beating high, but never in 
our mouths, and at last we saw a 
team approaching us. By “a 


ARAMINTA AND THE AUTOMOBILE 

team” I mean a horse and buggy. 
I was raised in Connecticut, where 
a team is anything you choose to 
call one. 

The teamster saw us. Well, per- 
haps I should not call him a team- 
ster (although he was one logically) : 
he was our doctor, and, as I say, he 
saw us. 

Now I think it would have been 
friendly in him, seeing that I was 
more or less of a novice at the art 
of automobiling, to have turned to 
the left when he saw that I was 
inadvertently turning to the left, 
but the practice of forty years added 
to a certain native obstinacy made 
him turn to the right, and he met 
me at the same time that I met 
him. 

The horse was not hurt, for which 

[a3J 


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ARAMINTA AND THE AUTOMOBILE 

I am truly glad, and the doctor 
joined us, and continued with us 
for a season, but his buggy was 
demolished. 

Of course I am always prepared 
to pay for my pleasure, and though 
it was not, strictly speaking, my 
pleasure to deprive my physician 
of his turn-out, yet if he had turned 
out it would n’t have happened — 
and, as I say, I was prepared to get 
him a new vehicle. But he was 
very unreasonable ; so much so 
that, as he was crowding us — for 
the seat was not built for more than 
two, and he is stout — I at last told 
him that I intended to turn around 
and carry him home, as we were 
out for pleasure, and he was giving 
us pain. 

I will confess that the events of 
[ 24 ] 


ARAMINTA AND THE AUTOMOBILE 

the last few minutes had rattled 
me somewhat, and I did not feel 
like turning just then, as the road 
was narrow. I knew that the road 
turned of its own accord a half- 
mile farther on, and so I deter- 
mined to wait. 

“I want to get out,’’ said the 
doctor tartly, and just as he said 
so Araminta stepped on the brake, 
accidentally. The doctor got out 
— -in front. With great presence 
of mind I reversed, and so we did 
not run over him. But he was 
furious and sulphurous, and that 
is why I have changed to home- 
opathy. He was the only allo- 
pathic doctor in Brantford. 

I suppose that if I had stopped 
and apologized, he would have made 
up with me, and I would not have 
[ 25 ] 


ARAMINTA AND THE AUTOMOBILE 

got angry with him ; but I could n’t 
stop. The machine was now go- 
ing as she had done when I left 
the barn, and we were backing into 
town. 

Through it all I did not lose my 
coolness. I said : “ Araminta, look 
out behind, which is ahead for us, 
and if you have occasion to jump 
now, do it in front, which is be- 
hind,” and Araminta understood 
me. 

She sat sideways, so that she 
could see what was going on, but 
that might have been seen from 
any point of view, for we were 
the only things going on — or 
backing. 

Pretty soon we passed the wreck 
of the buggy, and then we saw the 
horse grazing on dead grass by the 
[26] 


ARAMINTA AND THE AUTOMOBILE 

roadside, and at last we came on a 
few of our townfolk who had seen 
us start, and were now come out to 
welcome us home. But I did not 
go home just then. I should have 
done so if the machine had minded 
me and turned in at our driveway, 
but it did not. 

Across the way from us there is 
a fine lawn leading up to a beauti- 
ful greenhouse full of rare orchids 
and other plants. It is the pride 
of my very good neighbor, Jacob 
Rawlinson. 

The machine, as if moved by 
malice prepense, turned just as we 
came to the lawn, and began to 
back at railroad speed. 

I told Araminta that if she was 
tired of riding, now was the best 
time to stop ; that she ought not to 

[27] 


ARAMINTA AND THE AUTOMOBILE 

overdo it, and that I was going to 
ffet out myself as soon as I had seen 
her off. 

I saw her off. 

Then after one inelfectual jah at 
the brake, I left the machine hur- 
riedly, and as I sat down on the 
sposhy lawn I heard a tremendous 
but not unmusical sound of falling 
glass. . . . 

I tell Aramlnta that it isn't the 
running of an automobile that is 
expensive. It is the stopping of 
it. 


[28] 


THE DECEPTION OF 

MARTHA TUCKER 

AN AUTOMOBILE EXTRAVAGANZA 


THE DECEPTION OF 

MARTHA TUCKER 

AN AUTOMOBILE EXTRAVAGANZA 


It was not that Martha Tucker 
was particularly fond of horses 
so much as that she was afraid of 
automobiles of every sort, kind, 
or description. That was why she 
said that she would never consent 
to her husband’s purchasing a mo- 
tor carriage. 

‘ ‘ Horses were good enough for 
my father, and I guess that horses 
will do for me as long as I live and 
John is able to keep them,” said 
she to various friends on numerous 
occasions. 

But if she was ridiculously old- 
fashioned in her notions, John was 
[3i] 


THE DECEPTION OF MARTHA TUCKER 

not, and he cast about in his mind 
for some way to circumvent Martha 
without her knowing it. The thing 
would have been easy to do if it 
had not been for the fact that they 
were a very loving couple. John 
seldom went anywhere without 
taking his wife along, and as his 
business was of such a nature that 
he carried it on under his roof-tree, 
he was unable to speed along in 
happy loneliness on a locomobile or 
electric motor. Besides all this, 
John Tucker’s conscience was such 
a peculiar affair that if he hood- 
winked Martha it must be in her 
sight 

The Tuckers always spent their 
summers at Arlinberg, the roads 
around which were famous for 
driving ; and almost their only out- 
[ 32 ] 


THE DECEPTION OF MARTHA TUCKER 

door recreation, aside from wander- 
ing afoot in the fields, was found in 
riding behind any one or two of 
his half-dozen horses. The fact 
that he was abundantly able to 
maintain the most expensive auto- 
mobile extant made it doubly hard 
for John to abstain from the use 
of one. 

“ I gave up smoking to please 
Martha when we first married, but 
I do not intend to give up the idea 
of running an automobile of my 
own, just because she has the 
old-fogy notions of the Hiltons in 
her blood. Her father never rode 
in a steam-car, although the road 
passed by his back door, and all 
the Hiltons are old-fogyish — which 
sums up their faults. ’ 

John said this to an old school- 
3 [ 33 ] 


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THE DECEPTION OF MARTHA TUCKER 

mate who was spending a Sunday 
at his house. 

‘ ‘ Would n’t she try one of your 
neighbor’s automobiles, and see how 
she likes it ? ” 

“ No, sir ; her no is a no. But 
I mean to ride in one with her 
sometime, if I have to blindfold her 
and tell her it’s a baby-carriage.” 

It may have been a week after 
this conversation that John and 
Martha wandered in the woods 
picking wild flowers, and Mrs. 
Tucker was inoculated with ivy- 
poisoning that settled in her eyes, 
so that for several days she was 
confined to her room, and when 
she came out she was told by her 
doctor to wear smoked glasses for 
a week or two, her eyes still being 
inflamed and very painful. “Keep 

[ 34 ] 


THE DECEPTION OF MARTHA TUCKER 


outdoors ; go riding as much as 
you can, but don’t take off the 
glasses until the inflammation has 
entirely subsided,” said he. 

John was sincerely sorry for his 
wife’s misfortune, but when he 
heard that she would see through 
a glass darkly for the matter of a 
week or two, he made up his mind 
to act and act quickly. 

They went out for a ride that he 
might test her vision. The horse 
he was driving was a gray, Roan- 
oke by name. 

“My dear,” said Mr. Tucker, 

‘ ‘ don’t you think that the gait of 
this black horse is very like that of 
Roanoke ? ” 

“I’m sure I can’t tell, ” said 
Martha. “With these dismal 
glasses on I’m not quite 
[ 35 ] 


sure 


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THE DECEPTION OF MARTHA TUCKER 

whether it ’s a horse or a cow in 
the harness. I get a hazy out- 
line of some animal, but no 
color and little form. Don’t ever 
touch poison-ivy if you value your 
sight.” 

“Well, the doctor says you’ll 
be all right in a week or two. By 
the way, Martha, I ’m going to run 
down to New York to-morrow on 
business. I’ll be back in the 
evening. If your eyes were all 
right you might come along, but 
as it is, I guess you’d better not go 
down.” 

“ No ; driving around with James 
will do me more good than a stuffy 
train. Come home as soon as you 
can, dear, and — ” She hesitated. 
“I hate the old things, but if you 
are so set on trying one of those 
[ 36 ] 


THE DECEPTION OF MARTHA TUCKER 

automobiles, why don’t you do it 
to-morrow, when you are in New 
York?” 

‘ ' Why, I believe I will, my dear. 
I wish I could overcome your prej- 
udice against them.” 

“But you can’t, dear, so don’t 
try.” 

When Mr. Tucker reached New 
York, the first thing that he did was 
to visit an automobile repository. 

“Would it be possible for you 
to let me have an automobile that 
could be operated from behind, so 
that my wife and I could sit in front 
and simply enjoy the ride ? ” 

‘ ‘ Why, certainly,” said the man. 
“We have every style known to 
the most advanced makers.” 

‘ ‘ And could I have shafts at- 
tached to it, so that if it broke down 

[ 37 ] 


THE DECEPTION OF MARTHA TUCKER 

I could call in the services of some 
horse ? ” 

“But, sir, our machines never 
break dow^n. That is why we 
are selling one every minute in 
the working-day. Our agents are 
located in every known city of 
the earth, and our factories are 
running day and night, and in 
spite of it we are falling behind in 
our orders in a rapidly increasing 
ratio.” 

“ Is that so?” said Mr. Tucker, 
turning to leave the store. “ Then 
I 'm afraid I ’ll have to go elsewhere, 
as I wanted one shipped to me to- 
morrow or next day. A birthday 
present for my wife, you under- 
stand.” 

“Oh, I suppose,” said the wily 
salesman, “ that I could let you in 
[38J 


THE DECEPTION OF MARTHA TUCKER 

ahead of your turn if the payment 
were cash.” 

‘ ‘ Of course the payment will be 
cash. That's the only way I ever 

pay-" 

A half-hour from that time 
John Tucker was being propelled 
through New York’s busy streets in 
a smoothly running, almost noise- 
less, automobile worked from 
behind, and its way led down to 
a harness store in Chambers Street. 
As yet there were no shafts, but he 
had provided for a pair. 

Mr. Tucker went into the har- 
ness-store. “ Good-day,” said he. 

‘ ‘ I want to buy a wooden horse 
like the one out in front, only cov- 
ered with horse-skin.” 

“Well, sir,” said the clerk, 
‘ ‘ we don’t manufacture them our- 

[39] 


THE DECEPTION OF MARTHA TUCKER 

selves but we can order one for you. 
Going into the harness business?” 

“No, but I want to try an ex- 
periment. Would it be possible 
for me to have a mechanical horse 
built that would move its legs in a 
passable imitation of trotting?” 

‘ ‘ Nowadays everything is pos- 
sible,” said the salesman; “but it 
would be very expensive.” 

“Well, Fll tell you just what I 
want it for,” said Mr. Tucker, and 
entered into details concerning Mrs. 
Tucker’s aversion to automobiles, 
her ivy-poisoning, and his scheme. 
The clerk seemed interested. 

“If the lady’s eyes are as in- 
flamed as all that,” said he, “she 
would not notice the lack of natural 
motion, and it would be easy to 
place a contrivance inside of the 
[4oJ 


THE DECEPTION OF MARTHA TUCKER 

figure that would imitate the sound 
of trotting, and your wife’s imag- 
ination would do the rest. But I 
think that your idea of having the 
horse on a platform like the one 
out front is not a good one. If the 
platform struck a rock in the road 
it would knock the whole thing to 
smithereens. Better place smallish 
wheels on the inner side of the 
ankles, fix the hind legs so they 
will be jointed at the thighs, and 
then you can run up hill and down 
dale with no trouble.” 

Mr. Tucker clapped his hands 
like a boy. “That’s fine! My 
wife will get thoroughly used to an 
automobile without knowing she is 
riding in one, and then when she 
recovers the use of her eyes I ’ll 
give the wooden horse a well- 


THE DECEPTION OF MARTHA TUCKER 

earned rest. Call up that factory 
on the ’phone, and I ’ll order my 
hohby-horse at once. You think 
that I can get it in a day or two ? ” 

“ It ’s only a question of expense, 
sir, and you say that is nothing.” 

“ Of course it’s nothing. Noth- 
ing is anything if I can take my 
wife out automobiling without her 
knowing it.” 

Three days later Mr. Tucker 
said to his wife at luncheon: 

‘ ‘ My dear, as this is your birth- 
day, I have given myself the pleas- 
ure of buying you a new horse and 
wagon, and it will be ready for us 
to go out in half an hour.” 

“Oh, you dear, thoughtful 
man ! ” said Mrs. Tucker, beaming as 
well as she was able to through her 
smoked glasses. Then she rose 
[ 42 ] 


THE DECEPTION OF MARTHA TUCKER 

and gave him a kiss that made him 
feel that he was a guilty wretch to 
be meditating the deception of such 
a lovable wife. But he had gone 
too far to retrace his steps now, 
and he eased his feelings with the 
the thought that the end would 
justify the means. 

“You are always doing things to 
please me, ” said she. 

“No such thing,’' he replied. 
“You may not like this horse as 
well as you like Roanoke or Char- 
ley, but it is quite a swagger turn- 
out, and I’ve decided to have James 
go with us and sit behind on the 
rumble.” 

“Oh, but, my dear, we will 
not be driving alone if he is with 
us.” 

“ Nonsense ! We’ve been mar- 

[ 43 ] 


THE DECEPTION OF MARTHA TUCKER 


ried twenty years, and anyhow 
James is a graven image. He 
will not know we are along.'’ 
(“He will be too busy running 
the thing,” added Mr. Tucker 
mentally.) 

A half-hour later Mr. Tucker an- 
nounced to his wife that he was 
ready, and she put a few finishing 
touches to her toilet, bathed her 
eyes with witch-hazel, adjusted her 
smoked glasses, and went out to 
the porte-cochere. 

She dimly discerned the horse, 
the wagon, the groom at the horse’s 
head, and her husband. There 
was an indescribably swagger look 
about the equipage, and she wished 
that she could take off her glasses 
and gloat over her new possession, 
but the doctor’s orders had been 



She approached the liorse’s liead to pet him 



THE DECEPTION OF MARTHA TUCKER 

imperative. She did, how^ever, ap- 
proach the horse’s head to pet him, 
but her husband said: “Don’t, 
dear. He may not like women. 
Wait until he is used to us before 
you try to coddle him.” 

They stepped to their seats ; the 
groom left the horse’s head and 
handed the reins to Mr. Tucker, 
mounted the rumble, and off they 
started. 

“Why, it’s like sailing,” said 
Mrs. Tucker. 

“Pneumatic tires, my dear,” 
answered her husband glibly. 

‘ ‘ And how rhythmical the horse’s 
hoof-beats are I ” 

“An evidence of blood, my dar- 
ling. 1 know this horse’s pedigree : 
by Carpenter out of Chestnut — ” 

“Oh, don’t. I never cared for 

[ 45 ] 


THE DECEPTION OF MARTHA TUCKER 

those long genealogies. Whether 
he has blood or not, he is cer- 
tainly the smoothest traveller I 
ever saw.” 

They had been skilfully guided 
along the winding path that led to 
the highway by the chauffeur, who, 
although he was a James, was not 
the James who generally worked 
in the stable, but a James hired at 
the office of the company in order 
that he might break in the local 
James. 

After they reached the road the 
way for a mile or more was clear 
and straight, and they met with no 
teams. The horse was wonder- 
fully lifelike, except in his action, 
or rather lack of action, for his 
forefeet were eternally in an atti- 
tude of rest. The hind legs rose 

[ 46 ] 


THE DECEPTION OF MARTHA TUCKER 

and fell with the inequalities of the 
road, and his mane and tail waved 
in the breeze like the real horsehair 
that they were. 

“ This is the poetry of motion,” 
said Mrs. Tucker. “I don’t be- 
lieve you ’ll ever find an automobile 
that can run like this.” 

“ I ’ll admit that I would n’t wish 
one to go better. Are you all right 
back there, James?” 

“All right, sir.” 

“ Why, how queer James’ voice 
sounds 1 I never noticed that squeak 
in it before.” 

“ It ’s the exhilarating effect of 
our fast driving. Do you think 
that you could stand a faster pace ? ” 

‘ ‘ Why, if you ’re not afraid of 
tiring the horse. He seems to be 
going like the wind now.” 

[47] 


THE DECEPTION OF MARTHA TUCKER 

“Oh, he won’t mind. Faster, 
James.” 

‘ ‘ Why do you say that to James ? 
Did you think he was driving, you 
absent-minded dear, you ? ” 

“I did, for the moment.” 

James was sure he was driving, 
and at this command from his em- 
ployer he put on almost the full 
force of the electricity. The wagon 
gave a leap forward, and turning 
into a macadamized road at this 
point, they went along at the rate 
of twenty miles an hour. 

Mrs. Tucker clutched her hus- 
band’s arm. “John, his speed is 
uncanny. We seem to be going 
like an express-train ! ” 

“ It ’s the smoothness of the road 
and his perfect breeding, my dear. 
Do you notice that this furious gait 
[ 48 ] 


'arsjsvT3KS-SJ^'t3rsi*vt>r^jiwirsjsvarva>'tsr^.jc-'T5r^,i*>'arvS^^ 


THE DECEPTION OF MARTHA TUCKER 

does not seem to affect his wind at 
all?” 

“No, I hadn’t noticed it; but 
is n’t it queer how regular his hoof- 
beats are? and they do not seem to 
quicken their rate at all.” 

John had noticed this, too, and 
he had regretted not having told 
the manufacturer to arrange the 
mechanism so that the hoof-beats 
would become more or less rapid 
according to the gait ; but he an- 
swered quickly : 

“That, my dear, is because he 
reaches farther and farther. You 
know some breeds of horses gain 
speed by quickening their gait. This 
horse gains it by a lengthened reach. 
He is a remarkable animal. Actu- 
ally, my dear, we are overtaking a 
locomobile.” 

4 


[ 49 ] 


THE DECEPTION OF MARTHA TUCKER 

“ Oh, John, is he used to these 
horrid steam-wagons ? ” 

‘ ‘ Nothing will frighten this horse, 
Martha. You can rest assured of 
that.” 

A minute later they passed the 
locomobile. If Mrs. Tucker could 
have seen the codfish eyes of the 
occupant of the vehicle when he 
saw a hobby-horse going by at the 
rate of twenty miles an hour, she 
would have questioned his sanity. 
If she could have seen the scared 
looks and the scared horse of the 
people in the approaching buggy 
she would have begun to wonder 
what possessed her new possession. 
But her goggles saved her from 
present worry, and the buggy was 
passed in a flash. 

‘ ‘ Oh, I do wish I could take off 
[ 50 ] 


'ar^.js>'Qssis>'ar^js>'sr%io^<ir^jsi-'«saD^'a?sjsv'tRSJD> 

THE DECEPTION OF MARTHA TUCKER 

my glasses for a minute so that I 
could enjoy this rapid motion to the 
full ! How the trees must be spin- 
ning by ! ” 

“Don’t touch your glasses,” 
said Mr. Tucker, hurriedly. “ If a 
speck of dust or a pebble were to 
get into your eye, you might be- 
come permanently blind. Posi- 
tively, you are like a child with a 
new rocking-horse. This turnout 
will keep until your eyes are fully 
recovered, and I hope we may 
enjoy many a spin in this easy 
carriage, with or without this 
horse.” 

“Never without him, dear. 
After the delight of this swift 
motion I never would go back to 
lazy Roanoke or skittish Charley. 
I have never ridden in any car- 
[5i] 


THE DECEPTION OF MARTHA TUCKER 

riage that pleased me like this 
one/' 

‘ ‘ She ’s a convert already w^ith- 
out knowing it," said her husband 
to himself, but her next remark 
dispelled his illusion. 

“ How can any one like a noisy 
automobile better than this? You 
can’t improve on nature. By the 
way, I forgot to ask you if you 
rode in one the other day in New 
York." 

“ To be sure. I did nt tell you, 
did I ? It was really almost as nice 
as this, although the traffic im- 
peded us some. Oh, James, look 
out ! " 

This interruption was involun- 
tary on the part of Mr. Tucker, and 
his words were not noticed by his 
wife in the confusion of that which 
[ 53 ] 


THE DECEPTION OF MARTHA TUCKER 

followed. They were going down 
a hill at a fearful rate, when the off 
foreleg of the wooden horse be- 
came a veritable off foreleg, for it 
hit a log of wood that had dropped 
from a teamster’s cart not five min- 
utes before, and broke off at the 
knee. The jar almost threw Mrs. 
Tucker out ; she grasped the dash- 
board to save herself, and caught a 
momentary glimpse of the oddly 
working haunches of the imitation 
beast. 

“Oh, John, he’s running 
away I ” 

Now, this was not quite accu- 
rate, for he was being pushed 
away by a runaway automobile. 
Mr. Tucker noticed the increased 
speed and turned to admonish 
James. 


[ 53 ] 


THE DECEPTION OF MARTHA TUCKER 

James had left. 

The departure of James was co- 
incident with the collision, and he 
was at that moment extricating 
himself from a sapling into which 
he had been pitched. He yelled 
directions to Mr. Tucker which 
lacked carrying power. 

The vehicle had now come to a 
turn in the road, and not receiving 
any impulse to the contrary, it 
made for a stone wall that lay be- 
fore it. Mr. Tucker knew nothing 
about the working of the machine, 
but with admirable presence of 
mind he seized a projecting rod, 
and the wagon turned to the left 
with prompt obedience, but so sud- 
denly that it ran upon two wheels 
and nearly upset. 

So far so good, but now what 

[ 54 ] 


THE DECEPTION OF MARTHA TUCKER 

should he do? To get over to the 
back seat was either to give the 
whole thing away, or else make 
Mrs. Tucker question his courage. 

He was too obstinate to disclose 
his secret until he should be forced 
to, so he sat still and awaited de- 
velopments. Developments do not 
keep you waiting long when you 
are in a runaway automobile, and 
in just one minute by his watch, 
although he did not time it, the 
end came. 

Too late to do any good, John 
Tucker jumped over the back of 
the seat, because he saw the wooden 
horse again approaching a stonewall 
beyond which lay a frog pond. 

He pulled the lever as before, 
but he could not have pulled it 
hard enough, for the next moment 
[ 55 ] 


THE DECEPTION OF MARTHA TUCKER 


there was a shock, and then Mrs. 
Tucker sailed like a sprite through 
the air and landed in the water 
like a nymph, while some kin- 
dling wood in a horsehair skin was 
all that was left of Mr, Tucker’s 
thoroughbred. 

Mr. Tucker was not hurt by the 
impact, for he had grasped an over- 
hanging bough and saved himself. 
He dropped to earth, vaulted a 
stone wall, and rescued the faint- 
ing figure of his wife. The kindly 
services of a farmer procured her 
the shelter of a neighboring farm- 
house. 

Mr. Tucker knew from past ex- 
periences that his wife was an easy 
fainter, and after assuring himself 
that no bones were broken he left 
her for a few minutes that he might 
[ 56 ] 


THE DECEPTION OF MARTHA TUCKER 

run out to seek for James, who 
might be at death’s door. 

He found him gazing upon the 
ruins of the wooden horse. 

Upon learning that the man was 
uninjured he drew a bill from his 
pocket and said : ‘ ‘ My boy, here ’s 
money for your expenses and your 
wages, and if there is any go in 
this machine, run her to New York 
and tell your people that they can 
have her as a gift. I am through 
with automobiles.” 

But a half-hour later Mrs. 
Tucker, fully conscious hut some- 
what weak, sat up on the bed in the 
farmer’s best chamber and said : 

“John, I think that if it had 
been a horseless automobile it 
would n’t have been so bad,” 

Whereupon John overtook James 

[57] 


THE DECEPTION OF MARTHA TUCKER 

just setting out for New York, and 
gave him an order for one horseless 
automobile. 

And now John is convinced that 
his wife is a thoroughbred. 


[ 58 ] 


WHILE THE 

AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

A CHRISTMAS EXTRAVAGANZA 



..3 


WHILE THE 

AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

A CHRISTMAS EXTRAVAGANZA 


IT was a letter to encourage 
a hesitating lover, and certainly 
Orville Thornton, author of 
“Thoughts for Non -Thinkers,” 
came under that head. He re- 
ceived it on a Tuesday, and im- 
mediately made up his mind to 
declare his intentions to Miss 
Annette Badeau that evening. 

But perhaps the contents of the 
letter will help the reader to a bet- 
ter understanding of the case. 

Dear Orville : Miss Badeau sails 
unexpectedly for Paris on the day 
after Christmas, her aunt Madge hav- 
ing cabled her to come and visit her. 

[6i] 


'tsr'je>'ar^Xi''Cir<j!i^xsrsxDy'Xsr^!D^'isp-^^ 

WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

Won’t you come to Christmas dinner? 
I’ve invited the Joe Burtons, and of 
course Mr. Marten will he there, but 
no others — except Miss Badeau. 

Dinner will be at sharp seven. 
Don’t he late, although I know you 
won’t, you human time-table. 

I do hope that Annette will not 
fall in love in Paris. I wish that she 
would marry some nice New Yorker 
and settle near me. 

I Ve always thought that you have 
neglected marriage shamefully. 

Remember to-morrow night, and 
Annette sails on Thursday. Wishing 
you a Merry Christmas, I am, 

Your old friend, 

Henrietta Marten. 

Annette Badeau had come across 
the line of Orville’s vision three 
months before. She was Mrs. 
Marten’s niece, and had come from 
the West to live with her aunt at 
[6a] 


WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 


just about the time that the success 
of Thornton’s book made him 
think of marriage. 

She was pretty and bright and 
expansive in a Western way, and 
when Thornton met her at one of 
the few afternoon teas that he ever 
attended he fell in love with her. 
When he learned that she was the 
niece of his lifelong friend, Mrs. 
Marten, he suddenly discovered 
various reasons why he should call 
at the Marten house once or twice 
a week. 

But a strange habit he had of 
putting off delightful moments in 
order to enjoy anticipation to its 
fullest extent had caused him to re- 
frain from disclosing the state of 
his heart to Miss Badeau, and so 
that young woman, who had fallen 
[63J 


WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

in love vv^ith him even before she 
knevv^ that he was the gifted author 
of “Thoughts for Non-Thinkers,” 
often wished to herself that she 
could in some way give him a hint 
of the state of her heart. 

Orville received Mrs. Marten’s 
letter on Christmas Eve, and its 
contents made him plan a schedule 
for the next evening’s running. No 
power on earth could keep him 
away from that dinner, and he im- 
mediately sent a telegram of regret 
to the Bell-vvether of the Wolves’ 
Club, although he had been antici- 
pating the Christmas gorge for a 
month. 

He also sent a messenger with 
a note of acceptance to Mrs. 
Marten. . . . 

Then he loined the crowd of 

[ 64 ] 


WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

persons who always wait until 
Christmas Eve before buying the 
presents that stern and unpleasant 
duty makes it necessary to get. 

It would impart a characteristic 
Christmas flavor if it were possible 
to cover the ground with snow, 
and to make the air merry with the 
sound of flashing belts of silvery 
sleighbells on prancing horses ; but 
although Christmases in stories are 
always snowy and frosty and spark- 
ling with ice-crystals, Christmases 
in real life are apt to be damp and 
humid. Let us be thankful that 
this Christmas was merely such a 
one as would not give a ghost of a 
reason for a trip to Florida. The 
mercury stood at 58, and even 
light overcoats were not things to 
be put on without thought. 

5 [65] 


WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

Orville knew what he wished to 
get and where it was sold, and so 
he had an advantage over ninety- 
nine out of a hundred of the 
anxious-looking shoppers who were 
scuttling from shop to shop, bur- 
dened with bundles, and making 
the evening the worst in the year 
for tired sales-girls and -men. 

Orville’s present was not exactly 
Christmassy, but he hoped that 
Miss Badeau would like it, and it 
was certainly the finest one on the 
velvet tray. Orville, it will be seen, 
was of a sanguine disposition. 

He did not hang up his stock- 
ing ; he had not done that for sev- 
eral years ; but he did dream that 
Santa Glaus brought him a beauti- 
ful doll from Paris, and just as he 
was saying, “ There must be some 
[ 66 ] 


<jr>»^'t5rsa>tjrj£V'Csrj£>'a*'^a3^'tjrv5svt5r»^^ 

WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

mistake/' the doll turned into Miss 
Badeau and said: “No, I’m for 
you. Merry Christmas I ” Then 
he woke up and thought how fool- 
ish and yet how fascinating dreams 
are. 

Christmas morning was spent in 
polishing up an old essay on ‘ ‘ The 
Value of the Summer as an Invig- 
orator.” It had long heen a habit 
of his to work over old stuff on his 
holidays, and if he was about to 
marry he would need to sell ev- 
erything he had — of a literary- 
marketable nature. But this 
morning a vision of a lovely girl 
who on the morrow was going to 
sail thousands of miles away came 
between him and the page, and at 
last he tossed the manuscript into 
a drawer and went out for a walk. 

[67] 


WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

It was the draggiest Christmas 
he had ever known, and the warm- 
est. He dropped in at the club, but 
there was hardly any one there ; 
still, he did manage to play a few 
games of billiards, and at last 
the clock announced that it was 
time to go home and dress for the 
Christmas dinner. 

It was half-past five when he left 
the club. It was twenty minutes 
to six when he slipped on a piece 
of orange-peel, and measured his 
length on the sidewalk. He was 
able to rise and hobble up the steps 
on one foot, but the hall-boy had to 
help him to the elevator and thence 
to his room. He dropped upon 
his bed, feeling white about the 
gills. 

Orville was a most methodical 
[68J 


WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

man. He planned his doings days 
ahead and seldom changed his 
schedule. But it seemed likely 
that unless he was built of sterner 
stuff than most of the machines 
called men, he would not run out 
of the round-house to-night. His 
fall had given his foot a nasty 
wrench. 

Some engineers, to change the 
simile, would have argued that the 
engine was off the track, and that 
therefore the train was not in run- 
ning condition ; but Orville merely 
changed engines. His own steam 
having been cut off, he ordered an 
automobile for twenty minutes to 
seven ; and after he had bathed and 
bandaged his ankle he determined, 
with a grit worthy of the cause that 
brought it forth, to attend that din- 

[69] 


WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 


ner even if he paid for it in the 
hospital, with Annette as special 
nurse. 

Old Mr. Nickerson, who lived 
across the hall, had heard of his 
misfortune, and called to proffer 
his services. 

“ Shall I help you get to bed?’’ 
said he. 

I am not due in bed, Mr. Nick- 
erson, for many hours ; but if you 
will give me a few fingers of your 
excellent old Scotch with the bou- 
quet of smoked herring, I will go 
on dressing for dinner.” 

“Dear boy,” said the old gen- 
tleman almost tearfully, “it is im- 
possible for you to venture on your 
foot with such a sprain. It is badly 
swollen.” 

“Mr. Nickerson, my heart has 

[70] 


WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

received a worse wrench than my 
foot has, therefore I go out to 
dine.’" At sound of which enig- 
matical declaration Mr. Nickerson 
hurried off for the old Scotch, 
and in a few minutes Orville’s 
faintness had passed off, and with 
help from the amiable old man he 
got into his evening clothes — with 
the exception of his left foot, which 
was encased in a flowered slipper of 
sunset red. 

“ Now, my dear Mr. Nickerson, 
I’m a thousand times obliged to 
you, and if I can get you to help 
me hop downstairs I will wait for 
the automobile on the front stoop.” 
(Orville had been born in Brooklyn, 
where they still have “stoops.”) 
“I’m on time so far.” 

But if Orville was on time, the 

[71] 


WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

automobile was not, the driver not 
being a methodical man ; and when 
it did come, it was all the motor- 
man could do to stop it. It seemed 
restive. 

“You ought to shut olT on the 
oats,’* said Orville gayly, from his 
seat on the lowest step of the 
“ stoop.” 

The picture of a gentleman in 
immaculate evening clothes with 
the exception of a somewhat rococo 
carpet slipper, seemed to amuse 
some street children who were pass- 
ing. If they could have followed 
the “ auto” they would have been 
even more diverted, but such was 
not to be their fortune. Mr. Nick- 
erson helped his friend into the 
vehicle, and the driver started at 
a lively rate for Fifth Avenue. 


WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

Orville lived in Seventeenth 
Street, near Fifth Avenue; Mrs. 
Marten lived on Fifth Avenue, 
near Fortieth Street. Thirty- 
eighth Street and Thirty - ninth 
Street were reached and passed 
without further incident than the 
fact that Orville’s ankle pained 
him almost beyond the bearing- 
point ; but, as it is not the history 
of a sprained ankle that I am writ- 
ing, if the vehicle had stopped at 
Mrs. Marten’s my pen would not 
have been set to paper. 

But the motor-wagon did not 
even pause. It kept on as if the 
Harlem River were to be its next 
stop. 

Orville had stated the number of 
his destination with distinctness, 
and he now rang the annunciator 

[ 73 ] 


WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

and asked the driver why he did 
not stop. 

Calmly, in the even tones that 
clear-headed persons use w^hen they 
'wish to inspire confidence, the 
chauffeur said : ‘ ‘ Don’t he alarmed, 
sir, but I can’t stop. There ’s some- 
thing out of kilter, and I may have 
to run some time before I can get 
the hang of it. There ’s no danger 
as long as I can steer.” 

“Can’t you slacken up in 
front of the house, so that I can 
jump?” 

“With that foot, sir? Impos- 
sible, and, anyway, I can’t slacken 
up. I think we’ll stop soon. I 
don’t know when it was charged, 
but a gentleman had it before I was 
sent out with it. It won t be long, 
I think. I ’ll run around the block, 
[ 74 ] 


<R*saD'-'t3i’Sj£i^'t5rsi<V'srsiD^'t5Pvso<'arsjB^’-t5fSisvtRSJO''tsr'Js>'afsio< 

WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

and maybe I can stop the next 
time/' 

Orville groaned for a twofold 
reason : his ankle was jumping with 
pain, and he would lose the pleas- 
ure of taking Miss Badeau in to 
dinner, for it was a minute past 
seven. 

He sat and gazed at his carpet 
slipper, and thought of the daintily 
shod feet of the adorable Annette, 
as the horseless carriage wound 
around the block. As they ap- 
proached the house again, Orville 
imagined that they were slackening 
up, and he opened the door to be 
ready. It was now three minutes 
past seven, and dinner had begun 
beyond a doubt. The driver saw 
the door swing open, and said : 
“Don’t jump, sir. I can’t stop 
f75] 


WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

yet. I ’m afraid there ’s a good 
deal of run in the machine.’* 

Orville looked up at the brown- 
stone front of the house with an 
agonized stare, as if he would pull 
Mrs. Marten to the window by the 
power of his eyes. But Mrs. Mar- 
ten was not in the habit of pressing 
her nose against the pane in an 
anxious search for tardy guests. 
In fact, it may be asserted with 
confidence that it is not a Fifth 
Avenue custom. 

At that moment the puree was 
being served to Mrs. Marten’s 
guests, and to pretty Annette Ba- 
deau, who really looked discon- 
solate with the vacant chair beside 
her. 

‘ ‘ Something has happened to 
Orville,” said Mrs. Marten, look- 


'ar'>avT5rsj*j'<5!S.i*>'t»^^a>t5rvav'arsJSWi?sjD^'t3fSJ«>tjrsjD-'®*'j& 


WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

ing over her shoulder toward the 
hall door, ‘ ‘ for he is punctuality 
itself.’^ 

Mr. Joe Burton was a short, 
red-faced little man, with black 
mutton-chop whiskers of the style 
of ’76, and a way of looking in the 
most cheerful manner upon the 
dark side of things. “ Dessay 
he ’s been run over,” said he chop- 
pily. “Wonder anyone escapes. 
Steam-, gasoline-, electric-, horse- 
flesh-, man-propelled juggernauts. 
Ought to be prohibited.” 

Annette could not repress a shud- 
der. Her aunt saw it and said : 
‘ ‘ Orville will never be run over. 
He 's too wide-awake. But it is 
very singular. 

‘ ‘ He may have been detained by 
an order for a story,” said Mr. 

[77] 


WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

Marten, also with the amiable pur- 
pose of consoling Annette, for both 
of the Martens knew how she felt 
toward Mr. Thornton. 

“ Maybe he’s lying on the front 
sidewalk, hit by a sign or bitten 
by a dog. Dogs ought not to be 
allowed in the city ; they only add 
to the dangers of metropolitan ex- 
istence,” jerked out Mr. Burton, in 
blithe tones, totally unaware that 
his remarks might worry Annette. 

‘ ‘ Dear me I I wish you ’d 
send some one out to see. Aunt 
Henrietta.” 

“Nonsense, Annette. Mr. Bur- 
ton is always an alarmist. But, 
Marie, you might step to the front 
door and look down the avenue. 
Mr. Thornton is always so punctual 
that it is peculiar.” 

[78] 


WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 


Marie Avent to the front door 
and looked down the street just as 
Thornton, gesticulating wildly, dis- 
appeared around the corner of For- 
tieth Street. 

“Oh, why didn’t she come 
sooner!” said he aloud to himself. 
“At least they would know why 
I ’m late. And she’ll be gone be- 
fore I come round again. Was 
there ever such luck ? Oh for a 
good old horse that could stop, a 
dear old nag that would pause and 
not go round and round like a 
blamed carrousel I Say, driver, 
is n’t there any way of stopping this 
cursed thing? Can’t you run it 
into a fence or a house ? I ’ll take 
the risk.” 

“ But I won’t, sir. These auto- 
mobiles are very powerful, and one 

[79] 


WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

of them turned over a news-stand 
not long since and upset the stove 
in it, and nearly burned up the 
newsman. But there’s a plenty of 
time for it to stop. I don’t have to 
hurry back.” 

“That’s lucky,” said Orville. 
“I thought maybe you’d have to 
leave me alone with the thing. 
But, say, she may run all night. 
Here I am due at a dinner. I’m 
tired of riding. This is no way 
to spend Christmas. Slacken up, 
and I’ll jump when I get around 
there again.” 

‘ ‘ I tell you I can’t slacken 
up, and she’s going ten miles an 
hour. You’ll break your leg if 
you jump, and then where ’ll you 
be ?” 

‘ ‘ I might be on their sidewalk, 
[8o] 


WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

and then you could ring their bell, 
and they’d take me in.” 

“And have you suing the com- 
pany for damages ? Oh, no, sir. 
I ’m sorry, but it can’t be helped. 
The company won’t charge you for 
the extra time.” 

“No, I don’t think it will,” 
said Thornton savagely, the more 
so as his foot gave a twinge of pain 
just then. 

“There was no one in sight, 
ma’am,” said Marie, when she 
returned. 

‘ ‘ Probably he had an order for 
a story and got absorbed in it and 
forgot us,” said Mr. Marten; but 
this conjecture did not seem to suit 
Annette, for it did not fit what she 
knew of his character. 

[8i] 


6 


'CR' tjrSJ^ >SEl''Q?SJD''GfSJO^'OfSl£3'<BSJD^<StSJS>'OtSJB^'OfS10''0*SJ£l' 

WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

‘ ‘ Possibly he was dropped in 
an elevator,” said Mr. Burton. 
“Strain on elevators, particularly 
these electrical ones, is tremendous. 
Some of ’em have got to drop. 
And a dropping elevator is no re- 
specter of persons. You and I may 
be in one when it drops. Prob- 
ably he was. Sure, I hope not, 
but as he is known to be the soul 
of punctuality, we must put for- 
ward some accident to account for 
his lateness. People aren’t always 
killed in elevator accidents. Are 
they, my dear? ” 

“Mr. Burton,” said his wife, 

‘ ‘ I wish you would give your mor- 
bid thoughts a rest. Don’t you see 
that Annette is sensitive ?” 

“ Sensitive — with some one dy- 
ing every minute? It’s merely 
[82] 


WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

because she happens to know Or- 
ville that his death would he un- 
pleasant. If a man in the Klondike 
were to read of it in the paper he 
would n’t remember it five minutes. 
But I don’t say he was in an ele- 
vator. Mayhe some one sent him 
an infernal machine for a Christmas 
present. May have heen blown up 
in a manhole or jumped from his 
window to avoid flames. Why, 
there are a million ways to account 
for his absence.” 

Marie had opened the parlor win- 
dows a moment before, as the house 
was warm, and now there came 
the humming of a rapidly moving 
automobile. Mingled with it they 
heard distinctly, although faintly, 
“Mr. Marten, here I go.” 

It gave them all an uncanny 

[ 83 ] 


WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

feeling. The fish was left un- 
touched, and for a moment silence 
reigned. Then Mr. Marten sprang 
from the table and ran to the front 
door. He got there just in time to 
see an automobile dashing around 
a corner and to hear a distinctly 
articulated imprecation in the well- 
known voice of Orville Thornton. 

In evening clothes and bare- 
headed, Mr. Marten ran to Fortieth 
Street, and saw the vehicle ap- 
proaching Sixth Avenue, its occu- 
pant still hurling strong language 
upon the evening air. Mr. Marten 
is something of a sprinter, although 
he has passed the fifty mark, and 
he resolved to solve the mystery. 
But before he had covered a third 
of the block in Fortieth Street he 
saw that he could not hope to 

[ 84 ] 


'tsrjsvorsJD/^srvBvtsrsa^^srjB-'orsasv'OrvjD^^ 

WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

overtake the runaway automobile, 
so he turned and ran back to the 
house, rightly surmising that the 
driver would circle the block. 

When he reached his own door- 
step, badly winded, he saw the 
automobile coming full tilt up the 
avenue from Thirty-ninth Street. 

The rest of the diners were on 
the steps. ‘ ‘ I think he ’s coming, ’’ 
he panted. “The driver must be 
intoxicated.’* 

A moment later they were treated 
to the spectacle of Orville, still 
hurling imprecations as he wildly 
gesticulated with both arms. Sev- 
eral boys were trying to keep up 
with the vehicle, but the pace was 
too swift. No policeman had yet 
discovered its rotary course. 

As Orville came near the Marten 

[ 85 ] 


‘Xsr-jei''r3r~JSi-^iD''rsr-JSi'<sr'JS>'(ses3Si'<sr^ 

WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

mansion he cried “Ah-h-h!” in 
the relieved tones of one who has 
been falling for half an hour and at 
last sees ground in sight. 

“What's the matter?” shouted 
Mr. Marten wonderingly, as the 
carriage, instead of stopping, sped 
along the roadway. 

‘ ‘ Sprained foot. Can't walk. 
Auto out of order. Can't stop. 
Good-by till I come round again. 
Awful hungry. Merry Christmas I ” 
“Ah ha 1 ” said Joe Burton. “ I 
told you that it was an accident. 
Sprained his foot and lost power 
over vehicle. I don’t see the con- 
nection, but let us be thankful that 
he isn’t under the wheels, with a 
broken neck, or winding round and 
round the axle.” 

“But what’s to be done?” said 

[ 86 ] 


'aPvaV'tsr^iO/'t5r^jD-<RSJB'<srvSS>'t3rjO''arsjo^<srj£i''(srsi<>atsjsj/ 

WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

Mrs. Marten. “He says he's 
hungry.” 

“Tell you what I ” said Mr. Bur- 
ton, in his explosive way. “Put 
some food on a plate, and when 
the carriage comes round again 1 11 
jump aboard, and he can eat as he 
travels.” 

“ He loves puree of celery,” said 
Mrs. Marten. 

“Very well. Put some in a 
clean lard-pail or a milk-pail. Lit- 
tle out of the ordinary, hut so is 
the accident, and he can’t help his 
hunger. Hunger is no disgrace. 
I did n’t think he ’d ever eat soup 
again, to tell the truth. I was 
making up my mind whether a 
wreath or a harp would he better.” 

“ Oh, you are so morbid, Mr. 
Burton,” said his wife, while Mrs. 


WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

Marten told the maid to get a pail 
and put some puree into it. 

When Thornton came around 
again he met Mr. Marten near 
Thirty-ninth Street. 

“ Open the door, Orville, and 
Joe Burton will get aboard with 
some soup. You must be starved.” 

“There’s nothing like exercise 
for getting up an appetite. I ’ll be 
ready for Burton,” said Orville, 
“Awfully sorry I can’t stop and 
talk ; but I ’ll see you again in a 
minute or two.” 

He opened the door as he spoke, 
and then, to the great delight of at 
least a score of people who had 
realized that the automobile was 
running away, the rubicund and 
stout Joe Burton, a pail of puree 
in one hand and some table cutlery 
[88J 



He dropped upon Ids bed, feeling while about ibe gills 



WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 


and silverware and a napkin in the 
other, made a dash at the vehicle, 
and with help from Orville effected 
an entrance. 

“Merry Christmas!” said Or- 
ville. 

‘ ‘ Merry Christmas ! Awfully 
sorry, old man, but it might be 
worse. Better drink it out of the 
pail. They gave me a knife and 
fork, but they neglected to put in 
a spoon or a dish. I thought that 
you were probably killed, but I 
never imagined this. Miss Badeau 
was terribly worked up. I think 
that she had decided on white car- 
nations. Nice girl. You could 
easily jump, old man, if you 
hadn’t sprained your foot. Hurt 
much? ” 

‘ ‘ Like the devil ; but I ’m glad 

[89] 


WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

it worried Miss Badeau. No, I 
don’t mean that. But you know.” 

“Yes, I know,” said Burton, 
with a sociable smile. ‘ ‘ Mrs. Mar- 
ten told me. Nice girl. Let her 
in next time. Unusual thing, you 
know. People are very apt to 
jump from a runaway vehicle, but 
it seldom takes up passengers. Let 
her get in, and you can explain 
matters to her. You see, she sails 
early in the morning, and you 
have n’t much time. You can tell 
her what a nice fellow you are, you 
know, and I’m sure you’ll have 
Mrs. Marten’s blessing. Here’s 
where I get out.” 

With an agility admirable in one 
of his stoutness, Mr. Burton leaped 
to the street and ran up the steps 
to speak to Miss Badeau. Orville 

[90] 


WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 


could see her blush, but there was 
no time for her to become a pas- 
senger that trip, and the young 
man once more made the circuit of 
the block, quite alone, but strangely 
happy. He had never ridden with 
Annette, except once on the elevated 
road, and then both Mr. and Mrs. 
Marten were of the company. 

Round sped the motor, and when 
the Martens’ appeared in sight, An- 
nette was on the sidewalk with a 
covered dish in her hand and a look 
of excited expectancy on her face 
that added a hundredfold to its 
charms. 

“ Here you are — only ten cents 
a ride. Merry Christmas ! ” shouted 
Orville gayly, and leaned half out 
of the automobile to catch her. It 
was a daring, almost an impossible 

[91] 


WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

jump, yet Annette made it without 
accident, and, flushed and excited, 
sat down in front of Mr. Thornton 
without spilling her burden, which 
proved to be sweetbreads. 

“ Miss Badeau — Annette, I 
had n’t expected it to turn out this 
way, but of course your aunt doesn’t 
care, or she wouldn’t have let you 
come. We ’re really in no danger. 
This driver has had more experi- 
ence dodging teams in this last 
hour than he ’d get in an ordinary 
year. They tell me you ’re going 
to Europe early to-morrow to leave 
all your friends. Now, I’ve some- 
thing very important to say to you 
before you go. No, thanks, I don’t 
want anything more. That puree 
was very filling. I’ve sprained my 
ankle, and I need to be very quiet 

[92] 


'tsTvSi-'arvJSi-'tsrsjsvw'sai-'tjr'jo-'ars-si-^s^^ 

WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 

for a week or two, perhaps until 
this machine runs down, but at the 
end of that time would you — 

Orville hesitated, and Annette 
blushed sweetly . She set the sweet- 
breads down upon the seat beside 
her. Orville had never looked so 
handsome before to her eyes. 

He hesitated. “Go on,” said 
she. 

“ Would you be willing to go to 
Paris on a bridal trip?” 

Annette’s answer was drowned 
in the hurrah of the driver as the 
automobile, gradually slackening, 
came to a full stop in front of the 
Martens’ . 

But Orville read her lips, and as 
he handed his untouched sweet- 
breads to Mrs. Burton, and his 
sweetheart to her uncle, his face 
[ 93 ] 


WHILE THE AUTOMOBILE RAN DOWN 


wore a seraphically happy expres- 
sion ; and when Mr. Marten and 
the driver helped him up the steps 
at precisely eight o'clock, Annette’s 
hand sought his, and it was a jolly 
party that sat down to a big though 
somewhat dried-up Rhode Island 
turkey. 

“Marriage also is an accident,” 
said Mr. Burton. 


The University Press, Cambridge, U. S A. 







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